kurecchi

Words: 525
Warning: Established Relationship, Fluff
Prompt: ‘You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first.’ Bullshit. I never loved myself. But you, oh God, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.

Kaeya had heard the phrase: "You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first," many times in his life, but he had always considered it bullshit. Or, at the very least, not applicable to himself.

Because Kaeya doubted he would ever be able to love himself. His existence, in fact, was based on lies.

Love and lies were hardly compatible. Kaeya on the other hand had come to Mondstadt as a spy, Khaenri'ha's only and last hope.

He had been forced to pretend to be someone he wasn't, and when Kaeya first tried to be truthful... the weight of all the lies had crushed him - certainly helped by his bad timing.

No. It was impossible for him to love himself.

On the contrary, Kaeya knew he could love someone so much that he was able to forget the hatred and disgust he felt for himself.

Those were the feelings Kaeya had for Diluc. Emotions so strong able to allow him to live almost peacefully with that past that he would hardly ever leave him.

Was it overly romantic? Probably yes, but Kaeya felt he could allow himself that sort of 'peace of mind' from time to time... at least in his thoughts.

Because Diluc was perfect even in his imperfections that complemented everything Kaeya owned.

It was with those thoughts that Kaeya began to slowly take off his glove, without stopping to look him in the eyes.

Neither of them wanted to break that eye contact, not even when the fabric of the glove left Diluc's hand entirely, showing the scars he was used to hiding.

The Delusion had left indelible marks on the skin, once marred only by calluses and small training wounds. A kind of warning that constantly reminded both Diluc and Kaeya of the painful price of that power.

Kaeya showed no curiosity for those scars, but his gestures immediately betrayed his real interest. In fact, with his lips he touched those signs in kisses as light as caresses, going through them one by one as if to study their depth and position.

He continued to kiss Diluc' skin like that, and lifting the sleeve of his shirt slowly went up from the hand to his wrist, in that imaginary path of scars.

Kaeya accepted all of Diluc's scars because Diluc was able to make him forget everything.

Diluc barely held back a sigh but couldn't stop his body from being shaken by a shiver for those delicate but at the same time sensual attention, accompanied from the beginning by Kaeya's gaze chained to his.

Kaeya would watch him for hours. His face increasingly red, his lips parted in frequent sighs, his scarlet eyes half closed. The sweet and relaxing scent of Calla Lily and Lamp Grass. And Kaeya would continue to kiss and touch Diluc without ever being satiated, never wanting to find himself somewhere else.

That was his way of showing his feelings, without speaking but only with small gestures.

Yes, he was more and more convinced: the phrase "You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first" was really bullshit.